Torn Between Two

whispers burn into the folds
of the ears hidden
under the unkempt hair
decorated with gripping
fingers, as I attempt
to rip away the thoughts
pounding against my skull.

all is well
all is just
whispers and lies
whispers and lies.

my smiles once belonged to me
but now they are lost
somewhere between my confusion
and images of the past.

all is well
all is just
whispers and lies
whispers and lies

a feeling crept upon my chest
unwanted, I tried to fight it.
now I am split and have no choice.
I have one sword
and two of whom
I have no desireto fight.

Fear of loosing
fear of rejection.
My eyelids flickering
as my breath quickens.

I attempt to straighten,
quiet the battle inside my head.

One for him
The other
for the other.

Screaming, my hands
find the nesting home
within the strands of hair
that fall before my face.
Hiding my tears.

I've never been good at hiding.
He knew all along.
I did not ask to feel exactly as I do now.
But time is all that is left
To lead me where I should.
And when he turns around,I wonder even now,
Where precisely I'll be.

I never asked for this feeling,
not fair to him
as much as the other.
I'll wear a smile.
for him.
for him.

I'll wear a smile for me.

Things are beginning.
Not ending.
With leaves under my face,
fallen upon the ground,
I crawl one reach forward.
Things are beginning.

Crackling.
I might try to stand.
But not now.
The sun is still so light
and the time is just not right.
It's too early.
But things are beginning.