Calling the Magic of Holy Water

Don’t enter my thoughts, you’ll only leave burdened...

It feels every sin is upon them.
I rinse my hands in holy water,
And the people stare in horror.

They dip their little fingers
Dappling them in the water.
But, I am far more dirty than they.
I rush out to escape the silent disdain.
I just wanted to be clean.
These fingers I bring to my face
To catch the tears that run
Because of the mistakes I've made
Tremble with fear of an uncertain tomorrow.

Sometimes it seems that the only future I can control
Involves me ending it all together.
In the finale, at least I had control, right?
Wrong.

Because in a few months time,
Everyone would have forgot me.
In my attempt to earn control,
I would let my greatest fear arise.
I would loose everything dear to me.

And everyone I am dear to,
Which is very few,
Would have to deal with the loss
And they would experience

The very feeling I fled from.
I would have nothing left
But the darkness,
And the voices of the earth
Telling me of my wrongs.

Not much different than being here
In the light that is much less forgiving.
Bring me to the moon.
Higher than any bug will fly.
Higher than my minute worries.
High enough to balance out my low veneer.
High enough to erase my low condition,
Just for a moment in time.

But silly me, I forget in my troubles,
That without even lifting a finger,
You have me thinking of you,
No matter how high I get.
No mater how pathetic I've become.